How God is Working in My Life

"I love this crazy, tragic, sometimes almost magic, awful beautiful life" - Darryl Worley

"These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world" - John 16:33, NKJV

Life is filled with trials and tribulations. We all struggle at times and all go through them. But we can't forget the good times either. The sunshine, the happiness, the laughs. It's all a part of life.

There's no easy way to say this, and I've debated sharing this, but I think it's needed. Less than a week after I was married, my parents discussed filing for divorce. My mom has moved out of the house and into her new apartment so they could each have space and time apart. This past Friday, I received the news that my mom has a cancerous tumor in her lung. She starts chemotherapy and radiation sometime next week or the following week, once she meets with all the necessary doctors. I currently live nine hours away from my family. All I ask is for you to pray. For strength. For hope. For clarity. For healing. For peace. For comfort. Most importantly I pray that you will read this entire blog post about how God has worked in my life.

You can't plan life. It just happens. And it goes on. What I have learned is during every season of your life, you need to push yourself closer to God. He has a plan for everything. All He asks of us in return is to love one another, model ourselves after Jesus Christ, and to spread the Gospel. So this is my story shared. God has done amazing things in my life and I have only been a self-proclaimed Christian for about fifteen months now.

I applied to dozens of colleges/internships/jobs before I graduated college in 2012. Nothing was panning out until one Tuesday night, about two weeks after graduation, I submitted an application to a hospital in Texas. I never wanted to go to Texas (it's way too hot!) and I didn't want to work a clinic job (this was clinic outreach), but my options were dwindling. The next morning I received a phone call from my future boss saying "let's talk about your application". Eight days later I was hired and preparing for my move to Texas. It was one of the best decisions of my life and I fully believe God brought me there.

I didn't wanna go out with my friends that Saturday night in December of 2012. But suddenly my mind changed. My roommate never tried to set me up with random strangers. Yet poor Judah was dragged over to show me how to two-step that night. We instantly hit it off and dated for three months. When he was leaving Texas, he told me he didn't want anything serious or a distance relationship at that time. I remember texting him as he drove away that I wasn't going to cry because I knew in my heart that we would see each other again. And we would.

A few days before he left, we had one conversation about God and he told me about Jesus. And truth be told, I thought he was crazy. He told me how his faith always got him through the tough times and he found peace in knowing God was there. Never having had that in my life, I just couldn't understand, and I honestly thought that may be the thing that separates us. But two days after he drove away, I went to church. And I cried during service because the words spoke right to my heart. The worship leader prayed "If you are hurting, God is here and He is listening." God finally made His presence known to me.

Judah and I never would have survived the distance without God. Two and half weeks after he left Texas, he finally told me he wanted to keep trying at our relationship. Neither of us knew what was going to happen, but we weren't ready for goodbye yet. For anyone who has ever been in a distance relationship, you know it isn't easy. It makes everything more difficult and it forces the relationship to be more serious than perhaps it is ready for.

Judah and I broke up last August for three days because we felt like we were on different life paths. I was an absolute wreck, but on that third day, a calm feeling settled over me. I knew deep down that we would stay together. Sure enough that night Judah told me he missed me and didn't want it to be over. God helped us. And as I've been discussing in my L.O.V.E. series (which yes, I need to work on more!) there are numerous ways that pursuing a closer relationship to God can significantly improve your relationship. I am a firm believer that it takes three for any type of serious relationship.

Just one day shy of a year and half from when we met, I married Judah. My friends from back home thought I was crazy. You don't get engaged after only a year of dating! How could you possibly know that's who you want to spend the rest of your life with. I don't, but God does. The distance was also a factor. You don't keep spending time and money, and putting in effort for someone who you don't see a future with. With my job ending in Texas and the constant moving of Judah's job may have "forced" our timing of things, but I still would never trade my marriage for anything. For more discussion on this topic, check out my L.O.V.E. series posts (here and here)

I've always been a rather high-stressed individual. I constantly worry and try to plan as much as I can. But probably the single, most greatest gift I have received from placing my faith in God is learning to trust Him in everything and find peace. That is what I have noticed most about people with a strong faith. There is such peace and calm that surrounds them, because they have no reason to fear or be anxious. God will work His plan the way the He wants. You simply need to open your heart and mind to Him and His plan.

I am very far off from having complete serenity, but even in the past year, I have noticed a dramatic difference in myself. I know that family and friends have seen this change too. Now, it doesn't mean that you can't do anything in your life. We still have free will and you have decisions that you must make every day, but when you open your heart to prayer, God will guide you where you need to go. That's why right now I constantly find myself upset that I'm not working. But I know that God will open an opportunity for me when the time is right. I need to have patience, I need to have faith, I need to pray, and I need to keep myself open to when He reveals His plan for me.

I can't tell you what to believe. All I can do is share my story as proof of God's existence and the way He works absolute wonders in your life, when you let Him. These are the "big highlights" of how God has changed my life. Yet every day there are small things that show me how God affects me, and although I am incredibly grateful for the big things He has done, nothing makes me happier than the smallest prayer that He answers day in and day out.

Thank you for taking the time to read this entire post, and even if I haven't changed your mind, I hope  I made you pause and think. Feel free to leave a comment or reach out privately. But I do ask for no negative feedback. There is enough hate in this world, we don't need to add to it.